A Significant Month

 I'm about to have a 10-year studio anniversary.  As my studio was being constructed, my college roommate Dodie was dying.  The day of her memorial service in December 2016 was the first day that I was able to shower in the studio bathroom.  And I started my blog in January 2017 - those early blog entries were often about Dodie.  And almost10 years later?  I'm still blogging about her.

Dodie had three children - Mani and twins Paul and Virginia.  I watched these three grow. I made quilts for their high school graduations.  After Dodie died, Mani and Virginia gave me all of Dodie's flannel nightgowns, and I made quilts for the three grandchildren.  Then I made a quilt for Virginia.  And then a quilt for Mani.  But never for Paul.  So this quilt?  It's being mailed to Portland, OR, where he lives. 

Years ago there was a quilt exhibit in Indianapolis, and Dodie invited me down and suggested we go to it.  After being there about 30 minutes, she said she couldn't look at one more quilt because they were making her dizzy and nauseous.   This quilt back?  It has that effect.  I understand exactly what Dodie meant then and thought of her as I was creating this quilt backing. 

Grief is a process, and I am still grieving Dodie.  That's true of grief.  Oddly enough, it's a life-long process.

For Edward

Once a week I drive for the American Cancer Society. I've been doing this since last March, and it's been an eye-opening and rewarding experience. As the newbie, I have relied my passengers to tell me which route to drive and where exactly to go. Today my passenger was the newbie.

Edward is beginning his course of radiation and chemotherapy for lung cancer. He's a sharp dresser - nice coat, brimmed hat. But when he got in the car, he had an armful of various items. I'm driving him tomorrow, too, and giving him this bag. I think it looks manly.

Of course with each trip and patient, I think of Dodie and being her Week 5 driver for her radiation and chemotherapy. Perhaps that was the preparation for what I'm doing now.

Paper or Plastic? Neither!

Instead of the offered laptop bag, Mani (Dodie's older daughter) requested shopping bags. She and Tyler have 3 children - Will, Charlie, Meritt - and are excellent parents who model what they want from their children. Weekly shopping bags must be strong enough to carry cans and a gallon of milk and big enough to carry an 8-pack of toilet paper. They must be washable because you know that something is going to leak. These are basic MORS bags with a boxed corner.

My goal: bags attractive enough for Mani to use but also manly enough that Tyler will want to use these. Ideally, everyone in the family will have their own shopping bag, including 3-year-old Meritt. Just as we have used our bags for over 10 years, I hope these bags will see the Reed family through at least the next 10 years.

Laptop Bag 3 for Virginia

This bag is for Virginia, my friend Dodie's daughter. Not only is Gin 33 in a few days, this month would have been Dodie's 60th birthday. Virginia is wisely pointing out that it's better to have birthdays than not to have them. Virginia has moved from Chicago to Durham, NC, and it's been good. I miss the occasional dinners with her, but I'm very happy she's in a good place and closer to family.

Will's Grandma Dodie Quilt

Dodie had so much to say about her first grandson Will. He was her heart -until little brother Charlie was born. My first grandson is several years older than Will, and I freely confided my love for Ryan to Dodie. When Will was born, Dodie reminded me of how much listening time I owed her. No one can understand the intensity of the "crush" or the love for a grandchild except another grandparent. So I listened patiently and willingly as Dodie went on and on and on and on about Will. Various greens surround each of the 42 squares from his Grandma Dodie's nightgown. These greens are all "boy" - not a sissy green in the bunch. The back is a grey-green fabric that looks like weird little soccer balls. I hope each time Will uses it that he feels a connection to his Grandma Dodie.

I thought that I had finished my grief quilting for Dodie after making quilts for her daughers Virginia and Mani. But working on these past three quilts has given me some additonal comfort. I thought that when Dodie died, our friendship was over. But the mother of Will, Charlie, and Meritt - Mani - thanked me for continuing to be a friend to Dodie. And Mani's right. The friendship continues.

Charlie's Grandma Dodie Quilt

One of the hardest tasks after someone dies is for the family to get rid of the clothes. Dodie knew her time was limited and really did a great job of tidying up her closet before she died. Her daughters Mani and Virginia did have to do some cleaning up, and one of the things they came across were two of her trademark flannel nightgowns. Mani and Gin asked if I could make quilts from these gowns for her children Will, Charlie, and Meritt.

A year ago I was quilting my way through my grief for Dodie, and here I am again. Grief is a process. I've begun Meritt's quilt, and I have the fabrics set out for Will's. I love using scraps of Dodie's nightgowns, and I love using scraps of my quilting cottons. In this quilt for Charlie Reed (60" x 70") are several blues that my sister Paula bought years ago for a quilt she wanted.

In the year prior to her death, Dodie and I shared many smiles and tears about grandchildren and memories. It's comforting to know that Mani's children will have yet another visible reminder of a grandmother who loved them deeply and delighted in their every breath.

Quilts, Death, and Math

My college buddy Dodie - Dora Mae Hansen Wallace - died December, 17, 2006 after a 2-year battle with lung cancer. She was 57. I turned 58 in October and thought, "Dodie never got to see this age - how blessed am I." This blog opened with thoughts of Dodie, and here it is a year later.

In September 2005 I was with Dodie for a long week's worth of treatment and took a hand project with me. I made tumbling blocks which then turned into a quilt for Dodie. She had the quilt hung in the Anderson entryway, and it looked fabulous there. Furman recently told me that he took it down and has been using it, which pleases me immensely. I used a lot of neutral tumbling blocks to calm the effect of the quilt down. And I have a lot of beautiful tumbling blocks leftovers. Teaching the Reversible Quilt process (Quilt-As-You-Go) is something I love doing, and I'm always creating new sample pieces.

So, using the Tumbling Blocks and the Reversible Technique, I began to play. And there are no directions for this project. I do quite nicely right angles; most quilters do. But these tumbling blocks are 60 degree angles. I figured a way to join these blocks so I could use straight diagonal seams to connect the rows, and the resulting shape is an arrow. But really, an arrow-shaped quilt? I don't think so.


With my limited math skills, I have cut a top, batting, and backing the width of the quilt (37") by the height of the arrow tip (11"). As soon as I quilt this section, then I will cut it into 3 pieces that I'm hoping will fill in the top of the arrow as well as that bottom portion. It ought to work!

To honor Dodie's life and commemorate the end of this first year, her daughter Virginia and I are going to the Red Light on West Randolph and having the tasting menu - Dodie would have approved. I think Gin and I are both looking forward to this celebration in an odd sort of way.

The Jim Dandy Project

The Jim Dandy quilt is ready to be mailed to Fran Dunn in Spartanburg, South Carolina. From there it will go to the beach house in Litchfield, just south of Myrtle Beach. Fran and Jim were so generous to Mani as we celebrated Dodie's 58th birthday in July. Our use of beach house helped to make a difficult week a bit easier. This quilt is for the master bedroom - I hope to see this quilt in its home someday.

Summer Vacation is Over!

Well, this is my third fall that I've been retired. My third fall that I've been able to watch others go back to school. But it's my first peaceful Labor Day. Two years ago I was in Indianapolis with Dodie as she was doing her first round of chemo and radiation. Last year at this time her days were numbered. This year, with her death none months ago, I'm at peace. The current quilt I'm working on is the for Mrytle Beach beachhouse that John and I stayed at this summer when we went to be with Dodie's family at what would have been her 58th birthday. It's a lovely piece with a familiar process, and I'm enjoying doing it.

I have been having a hard time getting back to a regular schedule. And what's really motivated me to work on the Jim Dandy wall hanging is wanting to put away the piles of greens, purples, and neutrals. Also yesterday Cecilia and I made some final design decisions about her quilt, and it's ready to be finished and then off to the long-arm quilter.

Already there's a glitch in the teaching schedule. The Saturday workshop is a no-go. And I'm not terribly disappointed because the Tuesday workshop is off to a great start and is a technique that I'm much more enthused about. I have been wanting to experiment with some new techniques and of course actually do something about the landscape quilt I want to try. It feels good to get back to the work I want to do. There's something about "vacation mentality" even though I am retired and no longer am a part of an organized work cycle. Yes, summer vacation is over!

Wall Quilt for the Jim Dandy

Using the iris colors from the master bedroom of the Jim Dandy in Litchfield, South Carolina, this project has started. Here's the palette, but I don't know yet what design to use. I love doing little log cabins (see previous project) and may have to use that pattern again. Fran Dunn, one of home's owners, seemed genuinely pleased with this offer. That she knew Dodie will make this another one of my grief quilts. That's a good thing.

The Quilt for Myrtle Beach

Mani's quilt is complete. It's very simple in design but has more quilting than I normally put in a quilt. I'll give it to her on Dodie's 58th birthday, July 13, which is the day of of her ash-letting-go ceremony. Virginia has her quilt. I haven't made a quilt for Paul, Mani's brother and Virginia's twin. Someday... Making this quilt has been peaceful. Sad but peaceful. I think that's what the week at the beach will be - sad but peaceful. It was almost a year ago when Dodie and I did her "important" work, writing down what she wanted to have happen after her death. Scattering the ashes at the Turner House on Pawley's Island was part of the plan. I didn't get it at the time, but I get it now: this was her way of getting us all together to celebrate her life - and death.

Continuing to Grieve

Dodie's been dead for 6 months now. How odd to type that sentence. I think about her daily, sad that she is no longer part of the party of life and so thankful that I still am. In July we're going to Myrtle Beach where her family vacations every summer. This summer will be no different, except that on Dodie's birth date, July 13, Furman is hosting an "ash-letting-go" ceremony. Back in January I made a quilt for Dodie's younger daughter Virginia. Now I'm getting ready to work on a quilt for her older daughter Mani.

I know what I want the look of the quilt to be - light, airy, beachy, summery. In Beijing I wanted to buy fabrics, and the plentiful silks weren't what I wanted. I did buy some shirting cottons, which will be perfect for this project. Also, years ago Dodie gave me some of Furman's old shirts and was thinking of a quilt. It was one of our "someday" projects that we never got to. This simple linear pattern will be perfect for these light blues and whites.

I'm looking forward to Myrtle Beach. It's where Dodie and I spent a week with her kids when Furman couldn't get away from the hospital, and it's where John and I honeymooned 25 years ago. Virginia and Furman's sisters will be there, and they are charming women. And Mani has found gracious digs for us for that week. Most of all, I think this ceremony for Dodie will be an additional closure that I need.

A Glorious Month

My new studio was completed just before Christmas 2006 - what a Christmas present! For the past 15 years I've been quilting in the attic of our 2 bedroom bungalow in LaGrange. In June 2006 we contracted with Greckowski to demo our attic and put on a true second floor. The result is a fabulous, big space that is 25" x 25" plus a bathroom and a walk-in closet. We are still finishing with the painting and organizational touches. See the pictures at moquilt.com in the Gallery.

You know from the previous post that my dear college buddy died mid-December after an 18-month battle with lung cancer. All the sewing I've done since then, both commissions and projects of choice, include thoughts of Dodie - it's how I grieve. Today I finished a quilt for her daughter Virginia who is moving into an apartment in Chicago.

Despite my grief, I am glorying in my workspace. After months of sewing in a temporary studio down the street (thanks to Ana and Miguel and their daughter Cristina), I love sewing in my own house again. I love sewing as I watch the sun rise. I love sewing in my pajammas. I love my windows. I love my solar tubes. I love my studio.

Best of Times, Worst of Times

I've been retired from the Chicago Public Schools for 18 months now. While I love being retired and being able to quilt for fun and profit, it was exactly 18 months ago that my college roommate Dodie told me she had lung cancer. The first fall of my retirement I was ecstatic to not be in a school. But I didn't necessarily want to be at the Cancer Pavillion at the University of Indiana - Purdue University either.

Dodie went through 8 weeks of Chemo and Radiation that fall. Her husband Furman took her for the first two weeks. Her daughter Mani had a week. So did friend Deborah from Indianapolis. Furman's sisters Jean and Nancy each took a week. I was the Week 5 driver and actually got the best end of things. With Nancy Dodie was sick. With Jean she lost her hair. Dodie did ok during my week. One day we were at the hospital for 12 hours, but I had my hand quilting project with me. These hours with Dodie were like a good, long, lazy visit - with the exception of Dodie having tubes of chemicals dripping into her. She was remarkably upbeat as we shuffled from the Infusion floor to the Radiation floor. I finished my hand project by machine and gave Dodie her quilt in January, 2006.

2006 was the "Wait and See" year, but Dodie's cancer metastasized to her liver by the spring of 2006. Her health was good enough to thoroughly enjoy the family vacation and her birthday in Myrtle Beach in July. But then pain management became a key concern.

She died December 18, 2006 - just as the finishing touches were being put on my new quilting studio. Dodie asked me during the summer to write and deliver her eulogy. Her memorial service was December 22, 2006. What a sad end to the year.